U, D, L, L, R, U, D, R, R, L (cheats)

There’s only one real trick to weight loss: find what works for you. Some people are willing to work out all day as long as they can eat whatever they want; other people are content to eat almost nothing as long as they don’t have to move too much. For some, working out with a buddy is motivational and others would be too afraid of how they look to work out in front of anyone they know. Most people advise working in a cheat day or free day every so often to help you stay on track. Personally, I think this is terrible advice. First of all, I cannot backslide into the mindset that food is a reward, or that toxic, processed non-foods have any place in my life anymore. For me, the only thing that motivates me to do good work tomorrow is doing good work today.

That being said, I of course acknowledge that everybody is different. If eating a deep fried Oreo on a stick every once in a while keeps you on track the other 99% of the time, then by all means, EAT THE DEEP FRIED OREO ON A STICK! I’m just saying that personally, I wouldn’t know where to draw the line. If I eat the DFOOAS, should I round out the meal with a burger and fries? Is the whole day shot? The week? The first step is the hardest and I just can’t set myself up to take it over and over or I’ll give up. I need the momentum.

But, of course, I crave things. I crave burgers and fries and even the occasional DFOOAS. So I have found ways to satisfy the craving with completely healthy stuff. Here are two of my favorites: a Falske (literally translates to ‘fake’ in Danish and is a fake Danish) and The Healthy Bastard (my version of a jaw-dropping, heart-stopping feat of burger awesomeness, The Magnificent Bastard.

Falske ingredients:

Whole wheat (double fiber) English muffins

Fat-free cream cheese

Low-sugar fruit spread of choice

I’m gonna give you enough credit to assume you can figure out how to assemble the above ingredients to get this:

As shown, including black coffee, 115 calories, 1 g fat, 135mg sodium, no cholesterol

For my money, there is no better-tasting burger than the Magnificent Bastard at Andy’s. Add a side of Super Fries and it’s an ideal last meal. Trouble is, it really would have been.  If I had kept eating them, one of those little bastards would have done me in. Just not worth it when there is a healthy alternative (and there always is.)

Healthy Bastard ingredients:

Whole wheat hamburger buns

Morningstar Spicy black bean burgers

Eggs

Fat-free mayonnaise or mayo with olive oil

Tabasco or hot sauce of choice

Red onion slices

Tomato slices

Lettuce shreds

Russet potatoes

Green onion

Sodium-free seasoning

Non-stick pan, boil water, insert burger patty, lather, rinse, repeat.

Cube the potatoes, toss in a LITTLE BIT of olive oil, roast at 350 degrees till one will mush easily with a fork.

While that’s going, slice the veggies and mix equal parts mayo and hot sauce.

Toss the potatoes a bit just by shaking the pan around, add the dry seasoning and switch to broil for the last 5 minutes-or until crisp.

While that’s going, slice the veggies and mix equal parts mayo and hot sauce.

When the burger patty is warm, take it off the heat and poach an egg in the same water.

Add green onion slices to potatoes just before serving. They’re super thin and will dry up in a matter of minutes inside a hot oven.

Put mayo/ Tabasco mix on one side of the bun, and on the other, load up veggies first, then black bean burger patty, then egg.

Add a side of potatoes and it should look something like this:

As shown, we’ve got about 500 calories, 5g fat, 300 mg sodium, 1,000,000 mg cholesterol

If you’re watching your cholesterol intake, ditch the egg and add avocado for a heart-healthy alternative that isn’t too dry.

These should help you stay on track the next time you try to convince yourself you deserve a cheat day. What you deserve is to be proud of the choices you make. On that note, there is one more trick that worked for me: public accountability. Between facebook and this blog, I am telling everyone I know – and a bunch of people I don’t – my measurements, everything I eat and every time I go to the gym. The support is amazing and the fear of letting all those people down is enough to keep me from eating the chocolate cake I think I want so badly.

There will always be people who want to tell you why their way is better. Health is like religion that way. In both cases, find what works for you and DO IT.